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Day 7: Emily.

By: h_johanna
Rating: pg
Wordcount: 836
Warnings: None I can think of.
Disclaimer: All characters and situations are owned by me.

I was drowning. There was water everywhere; in my eyes, my nose, my ears, my mouth and in my lungs. It was cold and its fingers pressed deeper inside of me. I knew now it was crawling through my veins. The water was freezing me and however much I tried to struggle it took a hold of me. I opened my eyes. Up above there was light, that’s where I had to go. I had to go quickly, but hands were keeping me down scratching my skin. I panicked. Help me! I shouted and screamed but the water took my words. I would die here, I wouldn’t die like this. Then the surface raced closer to me. I wasn’t swimming, but it fell down, like a ceiling or a wall that tumbled in on you. I closed my eyes, realizing that as soon as it hit me I would die. It came closer, closer, closer!
I woke with a scream. The window was open, but I was shivering with sweat. Rain was pelting and the curtains were wet. I got up, still shaking. It had been so real, so vibrant. I closed the window and leant against the cold glass. If I closed my eyes I could hear shouting in my head. I wiped my cheeks; tears. I looked aside to the mirror, such a little ugly fragile thing I seemed; scared and alone in the darkness. I took my glasses and stared at myself some more. My hair was tangled; the bags under my eyes were dark. I even discovered extra wrinkles next to my eyes. Thunder cracked. My thin and gangly body looked more skeleton like in the sharp light. I stomach filled itself with an utter feeling of dislike of what I saw. I wanted to smash the looking glass. Something as hideous as me, it was doomed to loneliness and nightmares. I felt asphyxiated, powerless still. I felt doomed with my own incompetence.
The doorbell rang. Jess! My thoughts ran wild. Jess wanted to see me. I ran towards the door and only opened it only to be disappointed. “Nathan…” Of course it wasn’t Jess.
“Hey Ems, are you ok? We… we could hear you screaming. We were… I mean, I was concerned.”
“I’m ok, Nathan, I just had a nightmare, that’s all.” I looked at him.
“Oh, that sounds bad.”
“Don’t worry about me.” I smiled at him. Well, he saw I was alright why wouldn’t he go?
“Well, I do. Are you sure you want to be alone now. I could make you some tea.”
“That’s a really nice offer Nathan, but shouldn’t you go back to sleep. Work and all tomorrow.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that, I was still awake anyways.” He laughed nervously and walked past me inside. With a sigh I closed the door behind him.
He walked to my kitchen, only then I saw that Nathan had brought tea and his own cup. The stupid bastard had planned this. I smiled though, it was thoughtful.
“At this hour Nathan, why were you still awake?”
Nathan’s cheeks burned red. “Jessica kicked me out of bed, we had another row.”
I felt pity in my stomach as I followed him into my kitchen. I switched on the light and went searching for the water boiler which had mysteriously disappeared. Nathan sighed and leant against the counter. “I’m sorry to hear that.” I said as I handed him the kettle. I truly was feeling genuinely sorry for him.
“I suppose it’s my fault too. I’ve just been pushing her too much lately. She’s changed you see.”
“In what way?”
“She’s more distant to me lately. I don’t even know if she really is, but we haven’t…. well you know in a long while. She’s been away a lot more. She says she with you then but…” Nathan looked at me desperately, as if he wanted me to confirm it. “I suspect she has someone else.”
My stomach contracted. “Well, we have been going out a lot. So maybe that’s it.”
“Really? Well, even if it weren’t you’re her best friend… I would understand if you wouldn’t tell me if…” He paused.
I saw a man ridden with sadness and despair and my heart broke. I meant to apologize to him. Crawl and beg for forgiveness for what Jess and I were doing to him, but I remained silent. Instead I put my hand on his shoulder. He patted it. “I know I’m wrong to talk to you about this, Ems. I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. If I could I’d help you, but I really think you two will work it out. And whatever is going on Jess will come back to you in the end.” As I said it I knew I was right. This had always meant more to me than it did to Jess.
“I wish I could be as positive as you are Emily,” Nathan said, but he shared a smile with me as he did.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
ginnyvos
Nov. 7th, 2009 03:29 pm (UTC)
Oh wow, this sound like it's very much a key scene... Very well written once more, and poor Em, this must be killing her...
h_johanna
Nov. 8th, 2009 10:12 am (UTC)
Funny thing it is a key scene, but I had no idea I'd be writing it today. in the coming bits I want to display the continuous metal load this puts on Emily. I'm slowly getting into her
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )